.. awful..."Her voice faltered, tears streaming down her cheeks, and she glanced nervously up at his face for just a moment before continuing, "When I woke up I was so scared ... I completely panicked and I just had to get away. Then I was out in the woods and I was terrified I would get attacked by something and I guess that just kept me going and I made it here.Jake, can you ever forgive me for leaving? I know you would never do those things to me..."JAKEI stood stock still for a long time, even after she finished her explanation. I was shocked at the things her subconscious mind had conjured up and wasn't sure how to react.Finally I registered the look on Alie's face and it was a look that pleaded for understanding. "First of all there is nothing to forgive ... you reacted in a natural way. However, you must promise me that in the future you will take a moment ... just a moment, to try and think clearly."I knelt beside her bed and kissed her gently on the forehead and continued in. He said I was already a slut since I had fucked other men. He said sluts fuck black men. He told me how erotic it would be for me to be taken by a black man, how the contrast of our skins would be so exciting to see. I didn't agree right off, but he did get me thinking about it. I recalled that about a year before a black man flirted with me at my sister's New Years Eve party. Him being black and me being white, feeling that what he was suggesting was just plain wrong had really turned me on then. Still, I wondered if I would have the courage to actually submit sexually to a man of a different race. I wasn't sure I wanted to have sex with a Negro. Ed kept working on me. Ed said it was meant to be. He said he wanted me to enjoy the taboo of interracial sex. Of course I had heard the tales of black men being so much bigger, and therefore better sex partners than white men. Sayings like, "once you've tried black, you'll never go back." But, I never believed that. I figured that was just.
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